By Dianne Tipping-Woods

Balsamic marinated cherry tomatoes, rosemary, olive oil, mozzarella and feta. Peppadew pesto, basil pesto, goats milk cheese, walnuts, prosciutto and avocado. Prawns with lemon and garlic butter, fennel seeds and rocket. Garlic, chilli, avocado or artichokes, rocket, grano padano and toasted pine nuts. Mozzarella, anchovy fillets, capers, olives and oregano. Pears, walnuts and gorgonzola. Oh god…

I am tempted to continue listing examples from the hugely creative array of pizzas on offer at Toni’s Fully Furnished Pizza Co. But I’m not a cruel person. Drooling is messy, not to mention particularly unattractive. And I know that some of you reading this live too far to make it to Toni’s before closing time.

Damn! Despite the fact that I ate there last night - or because of it- my mouth is watering alarmingly. 

Situated in Pretoria ‘moot’, in kind of unassuming surrounds, Toni’s is a pizza mecca for Pretorians. I count myself among the devout, who regularly converge and consume. Starting with a minty Mojito thank-you. Did I mention the great cocktails they serve?

“Pizza is peasant food, it’s street food, it’s food that should be enjoyed eaten with one’s hands with a pitcher of beer or a carafe of ballsy red wine in an atmosphere of rowdy joviality, not picked at with a knife and fork in a five-star establishment,” says their website.  This is more than pizza - it’s philosophy!

Owners and Chef’s, Toni and Ian Sime obviously understand the fundamental role the perfect pizza plays in our social, cultural, and dare I say it – spiritual life. Try the Belgian chocolate calzone and you’ll know what I mean.

At Toni’s, they also understand that you will suffer from real mental anguish when trying to decide what pizza to choose, given the array of flavours and textures on offer – so they serve PIZZETTES! These mini-pizzas mean you can unashamedly order three different pizzas and enjoy every one of them individually. No tears or anguish over whether to go for the avo or the artichokes. Or if a moist and firm shitake mushroom will feel better in your mouth than a crisp and piquante red pepper…

Pizettes mean that the weaker ones among you (ok,ok,  maybe just the more restrained) will still have room for a dessert pizza too – or one of the daily specials, my favourite being the pears poached in red wine with a slow-dancing chocolate sauce. Or the cheeky lemon meringue pie. Or maybe the four cheese pizzette, with figs and an espresso…just to round things off.

There is a wide patio for al fresco dining and you can get a bottle of wine to drink on the curb if you’re waiting for a table. Which you will if you don’t book. The wait is worth it – the symphonies of flavors and arpeggios of textures. The thin crispy bases, the indecent flair… There I go again.

I don’t imagine too many people care who Toni really is – like a god you believe in her unseen presence as an explanation for all that is right with the miraculous pizza that arrives at your table visit after visit. It’s all about the pizza. And proof that it really is soul food - it’s affordable enough to eat there often!

So when you’re in Pretoria, no gooey slabs of preservative-laden, polystyrene-based, red sauces and cheap fatty cheese from any local take-away. Just remember this mantra. Toni’s. Mmmmm. Pizza.

Guess where I’ll be for dinner tonight again?